How to Survive the Christmas Party Season

Gretel Hallet, is a Trained Chocolate Fairy and is running the Getting Started half day workshop in Norwich - perfect for beginners to experience the core principles of Beyond Chocolate and equally great as a refresher for any Beyond Chocolater. If you live in East Anglia and want to know more about Beyond Chocolate or her workshops, get in touch with Gretel.

The internet is full of helpful last minute advice to beleaguered party-goers on how to survive the Festive Season with all those parties that all involve all that food and drink ... I’ve added my Beyond Chocolate inspired thoughts on this well-meaning but misguided advice. As for the parties and food and drink – bring them on!

So when they suggest...

1. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Give something you would like to receive, possibly a fruit basket or some low fat muffins. The favour just may be returned.

Chocolate Fairy Gretel says: Tell you what, if someone gave me low fat muffins they’d end up wearing them ... yes, it might be lovely to give someone a basket of fruit or cake, but not if it’s with the intention of ‘saving’ them from eating ‘bad things’ or in the hope that they will reciprocate with ‘good’ things ... bah!

2. Take a vegetable or fruit plate to a party. Be the designated driver. Save your friends and your waistline at the same time.

Chocolate Fairy Gretel says: Ok, veg or fruit plate sounds nice, but unless you only eat your own food at parties, this isn’t going to stop over-indulgence. Avoidance tactics don’t stop over-indulgence; it just pops up somewhere else – like when you get home and no-one’s watching. How much better it is to see what’s available and make a choice based on what you like and what you feel like eating
3. Don't let family or friends pressure you into overindulging. When they say 'You have nothing to worry about — you're fine as you are' reply: 'The reason I'm fine is because I've worked hard to lose the weight, and I'm not going to blow it now'.

Chocolate Fairy Gretel says: Why not just say, ‘Thank you’, Tune In and make your own decision about whether or eat or not?

4. Be assertive. Refuse food and drinks if you don't want them.

Chocolate Fairy Gretel says: This is more BC – if you’re not hungry or thirsty and don’t want to eat –refuse politely. Saying a polite 'no thanks' with a smile, repeated, broken record style, usually works. They will give up eventually!

5. At a buffet, limit the number of choices on your plate. Enjoy a few smart selections instead of giving in to overzealous sampling.

Chocolate Fairy Gretel says: You know what? I like sampling. That way I get to taste foods I may not have had before. It doesn’t mean I then scarf down the whole lot, but experimenting with tastes, textures and new foods is one of life’s pleasures.

6. Keep your hands full of anything but food. Take along photos, a branch of mistletoe, a camera or anything else that will keep your hands occupied.

Chocolate Fairy Gretel says: Oh, this isn’t going to look odd at all, is it?! Again, avoidance tactics are doomed to failure. It’s far better to make an active choice rather than spend the whole party pretending that food doesn’t exist and then eat the contents of your kitchen when you get home!

7. Plan a guilt-free event — organise a dance party and serve a hearty buffet of veggies and low-fat dips.

Chocolate Fairy Gretel says: What a shame it is that pleasure is so wrapped up with guilt in our culture. Why can’t we throw any sort of party we like and enjoy it?
8. Deliver cards in person to your neighbours and/or friends. Do it on foot and get a little exercise while you boost your community spirit.

Chocolate Fairy Gretel says: I approve of exercise by stealth. Hand-delivering Christmas cards if your recipients live locally is an excellent way of getting some fresh air and a bit of free exercise)

9. Give party leftovers and gifts of cakes, biscuits and chocolates to the local food shelter. You'll remove rich foods from your grasp and provide a treat to those in need.

Chocolate Fairy Gretel says: This sounds like one of those very good ideas dreamed up by someone who lives in a big city where there are homeless shelters. I wouldn’t know where to take excess party food in the small rural town where I live and, by the end of a party, most left-over party food is good only for compost or throwing away in my experience. And I don’t want rich foods removed from my grasp, thank you very much! I want to choose whether I eat them or not.

10. Keep your mind off food and your heart in the right place by volunteering. Charity organisations, toy drives and other endeavours can use all the help they can get.

Chocolate Fairy Gretel says: ?? I don’t think I have ever heard this before. Volunteering in order to avoid eating? Whatever next?! Volunteer because you want to help out, not because you’re avoiding eating, for goodness sake!

11. If you slip a little off track, don't dwell on it. That doesn't solve anything and can ruin your holiday fun. Just learn from the mistake, make sure to weigh in as usual and most of all, keep your sense of humour and good cheer.

Chocolate Fairy Gretel says: Firstly, I don’t have a ‘track’ to slip off. I don’t ‘dwell’ on my eating – I may reflect and learn from how, when, where I ate. I certainly don’t consider it a ‘mistake’. It happened and maybe I don’t want to do it like that again, but it wasn’t a ‘mistake’. I don’t ‘weigh in’. I can imagine worse things, certainly, but ‘weighing in’ comes pretty close to a worst thing. I hope I will always have a sense of humour and good cheer, neither of which is dependent on me torturing myself over food at this time of year.

Merry Festive Season whatever you are doing and Enjoy!

Post Christmas Diets

 We had a great Masterclass last night in which we spoke all about post Christmas diets and how to avoid the the lure of the January detox season.

We didn't really talk about the fact that the diets don't work - folks who take part in the monthly telephone Masterclass already know this so there's no point in preaching to the converted! No, what we talked about this month was ideas on how to deal with being on the receiving end of an advertising onslaught and a general diet frenzy occurring in just about every home, office, school and gym across the country. 

The diet companies have already snapped up as many magazine pages and Google Ads as they can fit in their budgets to promote their post Christmas and January diets and it's unlikely you'll be able to venture outside or online without being submitted to a multi- pronged attack. Think we are exaggerating? We did a little test. Let's say you want to nosey around the internet for some post Christmas sale bargains. When we typed in the words "post Christmas..."  the first things that Google suggested was "post Christmas diets" along with a page full of enticing offers from the likes of My Special K diet and Tesco's 'My Little Black Dress Diet' (yes, really).
 
It can be really hard to hold on to the knowledge that going on a diet in January is fruitless when everyone around you is attempting one and every billboard, web page, TV channel and magazine cover is urging you to join them with false promises of miraculous, easy and rapid weight loss. Even the most hard core Beyond Chocolater may find it challenging to ignore the dieting exhortations.


So, here's some Beyond Chocolate ammunition to defend yourself.
 
1. Support Yourself

- Make sure you balance the diet messages with non diet messages… If you are a member of the forum - spend time there. This supportive and welcoming space is guaranteed to be diet free. If you're not on the forum, become a member now - the first month is free so you won't be paying anything 'till January...and there are worse things to spend £7.99 on, we promise.
 
- Speak to like minded people - they don't have to be Beyond Chocolaters. The important thing is that, for whatever reason, they're not interested in talking about diets, detoxes and weight loss. Find at least one person in the office, at the school gate, amongst your friends who you can talk to when everyone else is talking about diets.

- Find things to read that support your decision - buy a book from the Beyond Chocolate bookshop and have it around to dip into. If you're into magazines, buy one that doesn't talk about weight loss - whether it's food, travel, gardening or tech gadgets… anything that isn’t about weight loss! Find other blogs and websites that talk about not dieting (if you find good ones, tell us about them).


2. Be your own Guru

- Come up with your own advertising 'no diet' campaign. What's your slogan? Where in your home or office are you going to put it so you can see it all the time? Whether you stick a post it on the bathroom mirror or create a screen saver for laptop or mobile, the idea is to counter the effects of the 'other' campaign going on all around you. This slogan will also be good ammunition to use as a standard response to people who either want to talk you into dieting or want to talk about weight loss and diets…

- Beware, the 'enemy' is also on the inside! What is your Gremlin telling you about going on a diet, new year’s resolutions, Beyond Chocolate not working, how much weight you’ve put on or not lost? Remind yourself about your previous experiences of going on a diet in January. How many times have you attempted it? How long did you stick to it? When did you give up? Did you lose any weight? How quickly did you put it back on?

- Maybe your Gremlin is taking another tack (it knows you won't listen to the diet drivel), and is suggesting  ‘DOING Beyond Chocolate properly' as  your new year's resolution. If this is the case, it's likely that you have been experimenting with the principles for a bit.  Look back and appreciate yourself for what's worked, for the changes you have made and reflect on what you would like to work more on. Choose one or two things and set yourself a few actions, or maybe just one for tomorrow.  Look at the thread called "Just one thing..." on the forum for ideas and inspiration.  

However you choose to protect yourself from the frenzy, remember to check in with the Chocolate Fairies: on this blog, on Twitter and on Facebook. We'll be right here with words of wisdom and sanity. Eating chocolate and looking forward to 2011...without a diet in sight.

Letters from a frustrated dieter

Gretel Hallet, came on our Chocolate Fairy Training last year and is running workshops in East Anglia.  If you live in the area and would like to attend a Beyond Chocolate course, Gretel would love to hear from you!  Meet Gretel.

Dear Chocolate Fairy,

How do you survive your Christmas party? Do you start well in advance of December, maybe in late October, early November because September is such a busy month, what with having to get the kids back to school … and by the time you remember that the dreaded party dress season is looming, it’s almost upon you. Do you dig out that gym membership you took out way back in January, and which lasted, oh, about 3 weeks? Tell me what do you do?
Love from a Frustrated Dieter

Dear Frustrated Dieter,
Um, no, actually, I don’t do any of the above. I haven’t dieted now for 3 years at any time of year. I move my body in ways that I enjoy rather than forcing myself to go to the gym, all year round. Try again.
Love from a Chocolate Fairy


Dear Chocolate Fairy,
Ok, do you dread the ‘tiny black dress and party temptation’ season, with all those works dos and social gatherings, where the alcohol is flowing? Do you lose control around buffets and wolf down all those tempting snacks?
Love from a Frustrated Dieter

Dear Frustrated Dieter,
No, I don’t do any of that either. I don’t own a tiny black dress because I’m not a tiny person. I own a cocktail dress that fits and flatters me just as I am and that I feel good in. I make choices at buffets depending on whether I am hungry or not and what it is I am hungry for. Sometimes I eat when I’m not hungry if the food is particularly tempting, but I do so consciously; I’m not ‘out of control’ and I enjoy what I eat. Hope this helps
Love from a Chocolate Fairy

Dear Chocolate Fairy,
Do you think I should just give up on dieting over Christmas and New Year and go on a really strict diet come January? I could rejoin the gym and I’m sure I’d get a discount on my membership for renewing.
Love from a Frustrated Dieter

Dear Frustrated Dieter,
I can’t tell you what you ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ do; that’s up to you. But personally, I don’t live in a ‘boom and bust’ way any more with my eating. Christmas does bring different and delicious foods, but I welcome them and enjoy them. As for the gym membership; if you enjoy going to the gym, why not renew? If not, why not look for a different way of moving your body that you’ll enjoy?
Love from a Chocolate Fairy

Dear Chocolate Fairy,

I know what you do! You Plan Ahead and make sure that you balance out what you eat at parties by eating less in between at home. Am I right? Or, do you eat before you go out so you’re not hungry and won’t nibble? Or do you take your own low fat food to every event so you’ll be sure you can eat something and not break the diet?
Help, please! I want to get it right this year.
Love from a Frustrated Dieter


Dear Frustrated Dieter,
No, I don’t do any of that either. Listen, why don’t you sign up for one of my courses, coming soon to a venue near you, and I’ll explain everything ….
Love from your Chocolate Fairy