What does your partner, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend… (I’ll use he here for the sake of brevity and continuity) think of your body? Does he think you are gorgeous? Does he always think you're gorgeous, whatever your size and however you feel about it? Whether you feel too fat or too lumpy, too bony or too flat or angular. Does he often tell you how beautiful you are or that he’d love you whatever your dress size? Or, is he the type who comments on how much weight you’ve put on, maybe uses it as an excuse not to get too intimate, not to have sex? Does it feel as if he watches what you eat? Does he comment on your size and urge or encourage you to lose weight?
Our partners all have such a different attitude to our body size and I am curious just how much this impacts us. I am blessed to live with a man who has always found me gorgeous, whatever my weight. He tells me so with regularity. He comments on the sexiness of my waist and the warmth and softness of my belly and tells me how he loves the shape and roundness of my bottom (which is particularly round and full). He doesn’t seem to mind that I’m getting older, that my skin is getting saggy in places, that I have wrinkles and dimples in various places. And I don’t honestly think he’s ever really noticed the cellulite on my thighs, in fact I don’t think the word cellulite ever even enters his consciousness!
When I hated my body, it felt as though all his appreciation and admiration didn’t make any difference. I didn’t really believe him and I would be busy contradicting him in my head before his sentence was even fully formed. It’s almost as though I was determined to hate my body, whatever he thought.
Today that I rather like the way I look myself, his admiration is very welcome, I love hearing him tell me how beautiful he finds me, I treasure those moments that, seemingly out of the blue, he says “you’re looking really pretty today” or “you look very sexy in that dress”. The compliments about my bottom and my shape feel like a loving hug.
We’d love to know what it’s like for you. Take a moment to complete our confidential survey. There are only a few questions so it will only take a minute and we won’t be logging your email address or any personal details. We haven’t quite finished writing Beyond Temptation, our new book, but I’m already planning for the next one. Not sure what the title will be yet (ideas welcome as ever) but it’s going to be about women and our relationship with our bodies… and we're just starting to gather some information so we'd love your help.